Answered by the facilitator, not by us. A zendo, a sound bath, an all-night kirtan and a church that serves a sacrament have almost nothing in common — which is exactly why a stranger needs each of them to answer for themselves. Every listing that carries the first-timer mark has answered all of these.
✓Handled plainly✗A firm limit, stated honestly?Not ideal — but told to you upfront
The example answers below are illustrative — the shape of a good answer from a first-timer-friendly evening sitting. A zendo, a terreiro or an all-night kirtan would fill the same nine boxes very differently.
01
✓
What happens in the first ten minutes
A green door beside the pharmacy, no sign, propped open from 19:15. Walk straight in — there is no reception and nobody takes your name.
From the street to sitting down. Doors, shoes, where to put a bag, who to speak to.
02
✓
Will they be asked to speak?
No. There is no going round the circle and no sharing at the end. Find the facilitator by the tea afterwards if you want to say something.
The single most common reason someone does not come.
03
✓
Is there any physical contact?
Only if you say yes first, and only at the end. A card by your mat can be turned to mean ‘no touch’, and it is never questioned.
Answered before the first-timer mark appears. The consent method is shown to the seeker.
04
✗
Can they leave part-way?
This one can be left — sit near the door and go when you want. But some containers genuinely cannot: an all-night ceremony runs to the end, and its listing says so before you book.
Some containers genuinely cannot be left. An eight-hour ceremony is not a drop-in class — say which yours is.
05
✓
What to wear and bring
Whatever you came in; loose is comfier lying down, socks stay on. Mats, bolsters and blankets are provided — nothing to buy at the door.
Including what you provide, so nobody buys a mat they did not need — or turns up in black to a terreiro.
06
✓
Chanting or language they may not know
A short Sanskrit line opens and closes the sitting. Joining in is not expected and most people do not.
Sanskrit, Pali, Tibetan, Japanese, Portuguese, Hebrew, Yoruba — name it, and say whether joining in is expected.
07
✓
Anything asked for on the day
Nothing. No donation bowl, no upsell to a course, no mailing-list sheet at the door.
Donation bowls are fine. Being surprised by one is not.
08
✓
Who is usually in the room
Twelve to eighteen people, mid-twenties to seventies, roughly two-thirds women. About a third are new on any given night.
Ages, rough gender mix, how many are new. Helps people picture themselves in it.
09
?
Accessibility, stated plainly
Three steps at the entrance and no lift, floor sitting with chairs on request. Said plainly rather than glossed over — a ground-floor room is being sought.
What is actually there — steps, lift, toilet, hearing loop, floor sitting only. Not what you wish were there.
10
✓
How it ends
A slow return, a few minutes sitting up, then tea in the hallway. Plenty of people go straight home — that is completely normal here.
Whether people linger, whether there is food, whether leaving straight away is odd, how they get home.
Go with someone
Nine people out of ten who never walk in were not put off by the practice. They were put off by walking in alone. If you have someone, bring them — most gatherings are glad of it, and the ones that are not will say so.
Why facilitators bother
Answering the questions once — they copy forward to every listing you post — measurably changes who comes and whether they return.
More yes
When a listing answers the real questions, more first-timers feel safe enough to book — and fewer quietly talk themselves out of it.
Fewer nerves
People arrive already knowing what they were going to ask, so the first message isn't an anxious one.
They turn up
People who know exactly what they're walking into tend to arrive — and stay to the end.
You may not want first-timers
A closed container, an advanced practice, a group that has sat together for years, a ceremony that requires preparation — say so and leave the mark off. Nothing here pushes you towards beginners you cannot hold.
Some traditions also restrict who may attend at all. That is stated as a fact on the listing rather than framed as an obstacle.